Wow.

The last time I posted here was more than a month back, that too about my Vacation and how it refreshed and rebooted me. Then, I made a promise to myself to radically improve my writing skills, go “full scale” back on Quora, start posting more on Facebook (Meaning posts, not just some random pouting selfies and useless shares!) and in general start making more impact through my writing.

But, here’s the problem. Procrastination.

This bitch is like a fucking quicksand that slows you down. It traps you in and you slowly sink into it. You feel the guilt, you feel the thing, you realize the fact that you’re going deeper and deeper into this sinkhole of time wasting. This part of the procrastination cycle is called “The Dark Playground!” as Tim Urban puts it beautifully in his blog, check this article out!

Coming back to my thing, I’ve been endlessly spiralling down this “Dark Playground” for quite sometime now. Nothing pulls me out of it except either the rush of Panic or Exhaustion from playing more than seven DotA 2 games per day and sitting in front of my PC all day. It’s crushing!

To make matters worse, my OCD (Or sometimes it’s sibling Depression) kicks in and acts like a catalyst, especially during the fag end of the Dark Playground phase. It kicks with a Metal boot right into my ass and then another round of guilt wave begins. Then I start analyzing myself as to am I really worthy enough to be a human or will I fucking die as a guy who achieved nothing except for sitting in front of his PC all day and reading & filling his head with useless trivia.

Then, I uninstall the game, pull the plug from my router in heated up frustration and punch my 21′ monitor, only to repeat these exact same things the next day.

‘Nuff is ‘Nuff, I say!

  • What am I going to do about it?

Ahem, Ahem!

So, what the fuck am I really going to do about it?

I’ve made enough promises to myself, I’ve broken enough promises with myself. It’s high time that I adopt a different strategy!

So, I’ve identified some areas of my life on fixing which I’ll get some control back over it. They are:

  1. Sleeping: ‘Nuff said. 7+ hours minimum. If I sleep well, I wake up real fresh the next day. And, that’s only possible if I sleep early (Since I go on a 2 hour pilgrimage to my undergrad college daily in the worst potholed roads imaginable!). Sleeping early = Getting up early = No rushing = More time for self building and calming activities = Counter Striking OCD and Mood Swings = More time for workout. So, you see, it’s a long fucking chain from just a single area. I’m going to be sleeping like a Koala from now on, at least half of it’s sleeping time in a day (Fun fact: Koalas can sleep upto 20 hours a day, lucky bastards!).
  2. Eating: You see, I’m a very poor eater. Part of the problem can be traced from the above issue. I hardly get any time to eat in the morning because I just rush. I stuff Paranthas or Dosa in my mouth, gulp down a glass of milk and go running after my bus. So, Terrible Breakfast = Bad start = Poor performance through the day = Long term, Calorie debt = Physically weak = Downing of confidence = Giving OCD an upper hand. I can’t let this happen. So, once I start sleeping early, I get more time to munch on much better, which will automatically fix my diet problem and will keep me energized throughout the day.
  3. Com…Computer Addiction: This is a pretty serious one. My RescueTime & StayFocusd data show that I spend more time sitting in front of this Metal and Plastic shell than with people (Especially when in an LDR). So, I have to fix this ASAP. Simply uninstalling programs on my computer seems to be useless as I’m mostly just a few clicks away from reinstalling them (Kudos to my self control! Great job. Proud of you.). So, I’ve decided to try out a different approach. The Mindfulness visualization technique! Basically this involves sitting in front of the object of your addiction and practicing restrain or at least some timed usage. It means being aware of the passage of time and constantly questioning the amount of productivity of the job you’re currently doing. Another technique which I learnt from my counsellor was to actually take some moment to think before you jump into the activity, as I mentioned before, Procrastination objects suck you up like quicksand, so it’s better to think before you approach them.
  4. Working out: So, here it is. The final nail in the Procrastinator’s coffin. Working out, I think is my ultimate challenging in  combating this menace. Just to put this on record, I’ve been trying to get in shape for the past 3 years, since my 11th grade back in high school. I’ve consistently failed in this, working out for no more than 17 days consistently. Gymming has always been an option, but you gotta have baseline muscle mass for that. So, I’m gonna start working out now, gain a baseline mass and hit the gym from the next day. Once I start caring for myself, I’ll start to appreciate the time more and I’m pretty sure the procrastination problem will automatically subside as ultimately it’s nothing more than a bad bad habit, that’s gotten right into the core of my brain like a fucking virus. (I’m not alone in this battle either)!

So, yes. To all the readers currently reading, I’d like to promise you this: I’ll be posting regularly now, as in once in every 15 days, after doing my research on the topic I’m writing and that’ll display the best of my writing skills. The reason I wrote this post was because I read somewhere that making your goals and ideals public will result in more pressure from the inside which will fuel the Panic Monster inside you with additional FIREPOWER.

And, there’s a post that’s been in the works for the past 15 days now. It’s about Israel and the dynamics that’s affecting it & the middle east and how it’s stayed strong in spite of being surrounded by enemies from all sides. I’ll try to post it before next Tuesday as I have my tests starting from the 4th of next month! Be sure to check it out. 🙂

Finally, I’d like to Thank you all for your readership and the emails. They mean a lot to me. I’ll keep writing and have big plans.

I’ll end this post with a very touching line from this Linkin Park song from the album, Hybrid Theory:

Time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away!

Pretty much describes my situation!

Keep reading 🙂

P.S: I highly recommend checking out this guy’s blog, Tim Urban from Wait But Why. This guy is seriously amazing. I think I should dedicate a whole article about him. That’s for later though. I highly recommend reading this article, just to blow your mind away: Fermi Paradox

P.P.S: NSFW was tagged for the fact that I’ve F-bombed a lot in this post! 😛

P.P.P.S: That photo was to grab your eyeball! 😛

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